Stages Of Grief

Although we prefer to avoid it, grief is an inevitable phase of our life that we all go through after a loss of any type, a phase that allows us to overcome this loss in the best possible way. 

We have to go through the stages of mourning at all costs after a loss of any type: a break-up, a dismissal, the death of a loved one. This phase includes several specific steps regardless of the reason for the loss.

However, it is possible to avoid this. For example, when we end a relationship and don’t want to grieve the relationship, we tend to immediately look for a new partner.

In this way, we avoid the first step by which, inevitably, mourning will occur.

Starting a new relationship without being really prepared robs us of the opportunity to close a chapter in our life, a necessary step to move forward in a healthy way.

Let’s see together in this article what are the stages of mourning.

1. The stage of negation 

Among the stages of mourning, the first stage of mourning is negation. We deny the loss of a loved one, a break-up or even a dismissal.

Denial is a way of closing your eyes to reality. We hope to avoid the pain in this way.

There are many people who make up a story for themselves. For example, they tell themselves that the person who died is actually on a trip, or that their partner who ended the relationship just needed space for a while.

This step will end.

2. The anger stage

When we stop denying what happened, things change: we get angry with the person in our pain.

The following questions and exclamations then flood our minds: “Why me? “, ” It’s his fault ! “, ” I do not deserve this ! »,« I will not forgive you! “…

It is a stage in which we make the other responsible for our pain.

3. The negotiation stage 

The anger then gives way to the next hope: the possibility of reversing the process of loss. We then start dreaming and looking for alternatives to recover what we have lost.

For example, if the situation causing our pain is the death of a loved one, we will get in touch with professionals such as psychics or others who claim to be able to talk to the dead.

If it is a breakup, we may try to seduce the other again.

If it is a layoff, we will try to get our job back.

If we ever achieve our ends, the mourning will be interrupted. The consequence of this interruption is as follows: if a similar situation occurs again, the bereavement will be even more painful.

4. The stage of sadness

Once the negotiation stage is over, the person realizes that there is no turning back, and the sadness stage begins.

Sadness is nothing more than a sign that indicates that we are gradually accepting reality. We know then that it is all over, and our tears help us release the pain so that we can move forward.

Care must be taken not to stagnate too long in this stage : prolonging this stage can lead to serious cases of depression.

5. The acceptance stage

This is the last stage of mourning, the stage in which we finally come to terms with the loss. We no longer have any hope of recovering what we have lost, we learn from the past situation and move forward.

It is a very rewarding stage in which we remember the good things and learn from the bad things.

It is possible that the beginning of this stage is not marked by a feeling of relief but, conversely, by grief, fatigue, lack of enthusiasm, apathy and discouragement.

However, over time, we will again feel joy and the will to live.

Grieving is a phase that we all go through at one time or another. Getting through this phase successfully will ensure that you are removed from any resentment, let go of the past, and the ability to move forward.

Have you ever felt stuck in any of the stages of grieving? What is the most difficult step for you to overcome?

Images by Aliza Razell and Nadia Maria